Guo Da Li

27 Oct 08 - In Chinese period dramas, whenever there was a wedding, there would be great fanfare and celebrations, even prior to the wedding when the groom and matchmaker deliver the betrothal gifts and bride price. There would be bales of silk and treasure boxes overflowing with gems and gold, all lined up neatly for the bride's family to inspect.

Today, it was my turn to deliver the goods to the royal family. My aunt had agreed to help out, and although it was never explicitly mentioned, we all had an unspoken agreement that she would be the official matchmaker. My brother was the official chauffeur, and he was in charge of transporting said goods together with the official matchmaker and my mum (who was really there just for the heck of it) to the royal palace.

First stop for my entourage was at my place, which they reached slightly after 9am. After chit chatting for a while, I passed my aunt her ang pow and was about to hand my brother his, when he refused and literally ran away! For the next 5 minutes, I chased him around the dining table in the living room while he kept shaking his head and made little noises of objection. I eventually gave up.

We then headed to the royal palace, and my mum and brother stayed in the car while I ventured forth with my aunt. According to custom, only matchmaker and groom are supposed to deliver the gifts, and thus, my mum and brother were left to patrol the car park at the foot of the block.

This was the second time my aunt was meeting the royal family, with the first taking place during "negotiations" at the food tasting session at Regent Hotel. She got down to business quickly, and explained to them what each item was for, and even clarified what the royal family were supposed to return. Yes, for those of you who do not know, the bride's family is supposed to return part of the gifts to show that 1) they are not greedy 2) the groom's family is overly generous.

With the serious business over, we settled down for more chit chat and decided to invite my mum and brother up too. Surprisingly, my mum refused, citing tradition and all that baggage. I never realised that she could be such a stickler for customs, but then again, she is female, and we all know how they can be full of surprises. After staying for a while more, we bid our farewells and my brother sent my aunt and mum home.

The guo da li is just one of the many aspects of a Chinese wedding that is still widely practised by many couples today. Although this custom may not be as meaningful as it used to be, it nevertheless indicates that Her Royal Majesty and I are one step closer to our customary wedding date. One step closer to gaining "proper" recognition of our marriage, and that's probably all that matters.


Melvin